


Switch Off

by Snail_inthe_club (ThatNeoNeonGrass)



Series: Miscellaneous Drabbles [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, Short, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27050788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatNeoNeonGrass/pseuds/Snail_inthe_club
Summary: where the author projects because they are a mess at the moment.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Series: Miscellaneous Drabbles [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918393
Kudos: 4





	Switch Off

**Author's Note:**

> based on my feelings and my real-life messages

_"So I switch off that wake-up call"_

_**"** _ **_Sometimes I feel like you only have feelings for yourself._ ** _**"** _

It's always like this. I say how I feel about what we're doing and you act as if I insulted you. As if me being the one upset is wrong. But why is it wrong? Am I not supposed to feel anything?

**_"_ ** _**You always make this about you! It's always about you!** _ **_"_ **

I wanna make it work. I wanna make it work. I wanna make it work. This single thought that keeps playing in my head. Make it work even when it feels painful. Even when we both know it's going to be the same damn thing. When I know that I should walk away. 

**_"_ ** **_I'll always be beneath you, won't I?_ ** **_"_ **

It's your silence that hurts. The fact you can't tell me that's not true. Jaehyun. Is that really your answer? Why? I can't know what you really feel. You just need to speak. I wanna believe that that is your answer. 

**_"I know you're horrible. How could I not?"_ **

You're tying. But really feels like I'm alone. You're not trying hard enough. Or maybe it's just me who wants more. I'm there for you but it hasn't felt that you are there for me in a long time.

**_"The sad part is that I'm okay with it."_ **

I say this with hurt but also honesty. I'm okay with it. I embrace every stab you give me. All that pain that you pour on to me. Pitty or love? I don't know. but I feel that if I leave you won't be okay. 

**_"If you get upset over what I say then I'm the fuck up."_ **

We back off. There's a pause. Everything on hold. It's when I switch off all my pain and pretend I'm okay. That we'll fix this. That you'll fix this. That for once I won't be the one to apologize for feeling too much. **_  
_**

It'll be okay. This light bulb that keeps on flickering, I'll change it. I'll get a new one and we'll be okay. These fights that can be meaningless will pass. That this scratching and hurting will stop.

That I won't be the one loving more. That you'll love with the same passion. I know I'm breaking but I'll keep holding on. I won't regret... I won't regret...


End file.
